Welcome to REtroVIEWS, where we will take a look at some of the movies of the past that we feel deserve a second look.
And SURPRISE MO FO’S! This review is not about a movie at all! Damn…bet you didn’t see that coming!!!
In this column I will be reviewing a beloved game from my past. Sadly, no matter how cool I make this game sound and how much you are dying to get your hands on a copy…you can’t. Unless you happen to have a computer that can still load DOS based games. (Emulators work, but resolution will always be an issue.)
The Product: Harvester (DOS CD-ROM)
Availability: Good luck. Check DosBox and emulator sites
The Skinny: Harvester was designed in 1993 and completed in 1994 by developers DigiFX Interactive and published by Merit Studios. Unfortunately, after being previewed at the Consumer electronics show in 1994 to a storm of controversy over the violent content, stereotypical portrayal of homosexuals, Italians, Native Americans and small town folk coupled with depictions of cannibalism, prostitution, S&M and implied sexual situations, the game wasn’t released until 1996. At this time, the Full Motion Video craze was on its way out and by the time the game was released, the graphics and effects were already outdated thanks to the late 90’s technical advancement boom.
The game begins with perhaps the best opening title sequence ever made for a game. It made it feel like the player was taking part in a feature film. I still believe that no opening credits sequence has ever rivaled that of Harvester.
As soon as the credits are done we are introduced to our hero Steve Mason as he awakes from a good night’s sleep in 1953 in the small town of Harvest. The only down side to waking up in Harvest is that he doesn’t know how he got there or who he is for that matter.
Whenever Steve tries to talk to his alleged family and friends, they all say something to the effect of, “You always were a kidder, Steve.”
By all outward appearances, 1953 Harvest is a suburban utopia, complete with smiling neighbors, a family owned and operated diner, a nuclear missile launching military outpost, and that giant looming beacon of mystery called “The Lodge”.
Okay, so this surface perfection is only skin deep. Slowly Steve interacts with the towns crazies that include: (Character list taken from Wikipedia.org’s article on said game)
Steve's Mom: She stands in the kitchen, endlessly smiling and baking cookies, appearing very much to have been cut from the pages of Life or Look of the early 1950s. The cookies are for the Charity Bake Sale; the sale is not until Friday, so she throws out the cookies as she bakes them, since they'll be stale before then.
Stephanie Pottsdam: Literally "the girl next door", Stephanie tells Steve she, too, has woken up in Harvest with no memory of her past. She and Steve are to be married in two weeks, but she is "grounded", for unspecified transgressions, confined to her bedroom where her parents can (literally) keep an eye on her and ensure that plans don't change.
Mr. Pottsdam: The overweight, alleged father of Stephanie who keeps her locked up in her room to ensure that she doesn't call off her wedding plans with Steve (although Mr. and Mrs. Pottsdam both blame each other for having grounded Stephanie). Pottsdam has an obvious lust for raw meat and since Steve's dad owns the meat company, the marriage is his ticket to an unlimited supply. Thus, he constantly implores Steve to "remind your dad about the MEAT, won't you?" He is also a perverted man who apparently spies on Stephanie through a peephole in the bathroom and kidnaps Karin, the daughter of restaurant owner Edna.
Mrs. Pottsdam: In a kitchen nearly indistinguishable from Steve's Moms', she is, in fact, rather obviously played by the same actress, in a different wig and dress. When Steve asks her about this, she claims to be deeply insulted that he would say such a thing.
Mr. Johnson: An older man who spends most of his time maintaining and guarding his prized Tucker automobile and obsessing over his car, sex and / or Edna Fitzpatrick (and / or several combinations thereof). He offers to drive Steve and Stephanie around on their honeymoon night, because the Tucker is "real spacious" and he swears he "won't even look."
Col. Buster Monroe: A legless World War II veteran who, having been found "too mentally unstable" for combat, was relieved to a post in command of the Harvest Nuclear Missile Installation. He became unbalanced when his lower torso was shot off in Düsseldorf, Germany by Nazi forces during the war. He crawled all the way "from Germany to England", dragging his lower intestines behind him, and stopping every three miles to reel them in. On his belt is "The Button", which (of course) can launch a nuclear holocaust. If Steve throws him too many suspicious questions or answers one of the colonel's questions wrong, he will shoot Steve for being a "Commie", balancing on one hand while he fires his M-16 rifle with the other. This, of course, leads him to fall on his belt.
Sheriff Dwayne: Sheriff Duane Dwayne, the short arm of the Law here in Harvester, who often seems more interested in eating pie than in solving crimes. He arrests Steve if the player commits some unlawful act.
Deputy Loomis: Dwayne's half-imbecilic Deputy, only good for minding the jail while the Sheriff investigates another pie at DNA's Diner, and for sneaking in the jail when no one else is around and "staining the mattresses", especially if he gets his hands on any of "them french postcards, the kind that men like".
Tetsua Crumb: Also known as the Wasp Woman, Tetsua lives in the abandoned house down the street from Steve's, surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of wasp nests. She explains to Steve that modern prejudice for bees over wasps results from the Judeo-Christian work ethic and its focus on productivity and sacrifice. The wasp, on the other hand, is the perfect hedonist, living only for now, stinging only for pure, "ejaculatory" pleasure. Not easily angered, she explains, they are instead easily aroused to ecstasy - and the skin of her face and hands bear the welts to prove it. Her nickname is not merely honorary: if the player kills her (as he/she can do to several characters in the game), she is revealed to have a wasp's abdomen in place of her lower body.
Jimmy James: A young schoolboy who greets Steve as he leaves his house each morning and insists that Steve "put out the paper" for him. Since the newspaper building burned down, he explains, he has nothing better to do, so Steve should just "keep putting that paper out, and everything will be Jake, ok?" If Steve fails to do so for more than a day, little Jimmy pleasantly shoots him in the face.
Fireman Sparky: Sparky, one of the obviously (and overly) homosexual firemen at "Flame Central", where the fire engine is bright pink, and the fireman fill their open moments painting portraiture. "So what if [they] only paint nude men? So what if it's the same nude man, over and over? Process, not content, Steve!"
Mr. Moynahan: A dark, mysterious figure who serves Harvest as both hotelier and mortician - he runs the only funeral home, as well as the only hotel. Apparently, in Harvest it is common for "bums, the homeless, those with no one to care for them" to just drift into town, and drop dead for no apparent reason. Moynahan is so kind as to take these needful strangers into his hotel for free, and to see to their final arrangements likewise. It is for his sake that the Lodge has organized the Charity Bake Sale.
Sergeant at Arms: He guards the entrance to the Lodge and briefs the initiates, using telepathy, with the morally dubious tasks they must perform in order to join the Lodge. He also explains the truth about Harvest to Steve at the end of the game and gives him an ultimatum that will affect Steve and Stephanie’s lives.
With a cast like that, who need enemies? Well, Steve has plenty of them as he attempts to join the elusive “Lodge”, a task that requires him to ruin the lives of as many townsfolk as he can, often resulting in disastrous side-effects.
As you conduct your Lodge missions, slowly the crazy town inhabitant’s motives are revealed and a larger, more diabolical plan is at play.
The Good: Campy 50’s era stereotypes, laughable (intentionally so) dialogue delivered with eerie every day ambient sounds playing in the background, hysterical death scenes, creepy atmosphere that nothing is as it seems, and easy point and click game play makes Harvester a joy to behold.
The Bad: For all the good this game delivers, Harvester is not without its faults. Dialogue scenes are not FMV, it is simply pictures of the characters with changing facial expressions as they talk. The game play is standard action/adventure style point and click, though a weapons schematic is in place thus elevating it above standard FMV fare of the early 90’s. There is a good amount of video, but because of budget constraints a lot of the video is used repeatedly giving the impression that there is more than there actually is. The big reveal at the end of the game gives you two options, both are lackluster endings. There are times in the game where you are stuck because you haven’t completed a cryptic task. You can spend hours trying to solve a particular task or puzzle.
The Verdict: For what it is, Harvester is a blast. Playing it today, or even in 1996 when it was released, as long as you go into the game with low expectations you should thoroughly enjoy this violent and comical romp through the ever-so-odd town of Harvest and interacting with the towns creepy, slightly-off residents.
Release Date: 1996; Distributed By: Merit Studios; ESRB Rating: M; Media: CD-ROM 3 Discs; Input Methods: Keyboard & Mouse
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